I’ve kept a journal for over 13 years.

I don’t write in it every day or even every week. But I’ve been pretty consistent over the years.

And I know some bloggers will follow that statement by saying something like, “And journaling has been one of the most life-transforming habits I’ve ever done!”

But that’s not how I feel.

Honestly, I’ve had a love-hate relationship with journaling for most of those years.

Sometimes I hate it because it feels like such a waste of time. I struggled with this even more after I started writing professionally.

I would think, “Why would I spend hours writing in a journal when I could be getting paid to write for someone else?”

Or why journal, when I could publish on my own blog?

Nobody may ever read these journals! And if they do, it’ll be after I’m dead.

So what’s the point?

Why write about your innermost thoughts and feelings? Why record seemingly mundane things about your life? Aren’t diaries something 12-year-old girls keep?

You know, I wish I had some profound answer for you. Sure, I could quote a bunch of scientific research that proves journaling has major benefits. Or I could tell you story after story of famous and successful people who kept journals.

But if you’re like me, that’s not going to be enough to persuade you to journal.

And honestly, I could care less if you keep a journal. I’m not writing this to try and convince you to journal. I’m actually just processing my own thoughts and wondering why it’s so hard for me NOT to journal!

Today will be my 114th consecutive day of publishing a blog post on here. I’m excited about this new daily habit. And part of the deal I made with myself was that I would no longer require myself to keep a journal if I’m going to have a daily personal blog.

So I’ve been off the hook. No more journaling if I don’t want to. I’ve only made 18 journal entries so far this year (which is not much for me considering we’re 63 days into the year).

But even though I don’t “have to” journal I still “want to.” And I wish I knew why. All I really know is that something feels “off” when I don’t journal. It’s like I need to do it just like I need to go for a long quiet walk sometimes. I just need it.

So I’m back on the journaling train. I’ll see how far I’ll ride it! Maybe another 13 years.