maintaining habits

Chai and journal this morning outside.

It’s hard to maintain daily habits because eventually the newness of them wears off and they feel like work.

For example, I currently have two daily habits I do: praying for 30-minutes (I’m on Day #59). And publishing a blog post (I’m on Day #265).

But today I didn’t feel like doing either.

I hit snooze 3–4 times this morning. My alarm was set for 6:15 but I didn’t crawl out of bed until 7:15.

I hate that because instead of “getting a jump start” on the day I feel like I’m starting out behind.

After I showered, made some chai and poured cereal for the girls, I walked out to my office and thought, “Ugh, I have to do my habits before work starts.”

I didn’t feel excited about them at all today. I just felt“blah” about them.

They felt like chores. Commitments I have to, not want to, do

The biggest reason I felt like this is because I don’t see a clear outcome, goal or purpose for these habits. It’s not like one day I can say, “Hey, look, I finally arrived. I’m the best writer or pray-er I could ever be. I think I’ll stop now. Mission accomplished.”

I think this is why I’ve been wanting to start working out again. With fitness habits it’s easy to measure progress. You can see how much muscle you gained, how much you can deadlift and how fast you can fun. All tangible things.

I love that stuff. Because I like keeping score. I like to know if I’m winning or losing.

It’s not so cut and dry with writing or praying. How do I know if I’m improving? What if I’m actually practicing the wrong way and getting worse!

Thoughts like these make me want to throw in the towel. But not today. Today I’ll do it. Even though I don’t feel like it. Why? I don’t know, maybe I’m just too stubborn (or scared) to quit.

And quitting feels like the easy way out. I’m not looking for easy. I want to know what it’s like to persevere.

What’s it like to practice something daily for years? I don’t know how long I’ll do these two things. But I want to make it at least a year for each. Then I can re-evaluate.