An old mentor of mine, a successful entrepreneur who started making $1 million a year by age 31, once told me a story about a fight he was in.

He was sparring (jiu jitsu) with an opponent who was several levels above him. He said he knew it was unlikely he would win so he wasn’t worried about the outcome.

So he just relaxed and did what he could do without any pressure of “winning.” But he said a funny thing happened…

He actually fought one of his best fights ever and almost beat the guy. Everyone, including himself, was surprised how well he did.

After reflecting on this he believed it was because he was “detached from the outcome.” In other words he wasn’t stressed or anxious about winning and instead was able to focus on the task at hand.

Now think about your business. How much time do you spend focusing on the outcome? On goals, sales and revenue?

It’s easy to do. I do it a lot. But I’m trying to think differently about this.

For example, I used to feel a lot of anxiety right before I would have a Discovery Call with a new prospect. In the back of my mind I would be thinking about how badly I needed to make more sales so I could pay the bills and provide for my wife and kids.

It was stressful and because of it I feel like I was not myself on those calls.

But then one day a business coach of mine said something that forever changed how I viewed these calls. He said:

“The purpose of a Discovery Call is not to sell anything. It’s simply to discover what the person’s needs are and to really see if they would be a good fit for what you have to offer. Don’t worry making the sale.”

When I heard this something clicked!

I realized I was trying to control those experiences so that I could get the outcome I desired. But the truth is the best outcome was not always to make a sale.

Sometimes I was really not a good fit for the person. And if I was solely focused on making the sale it would create angst in me and I believe the prospect felt it too.

And just like the story of my old mentor who did surprisingly better when he detached himself from the outcome, I noticed I started doing much better during these calls. I was calm, happy and finally felt like I hit my stride in my sales process.

Of course I want to make more sales and increase revenue. What kind of entrepreneur would I be if I didn’t?

But there’s a more satisfying and peaceful way to do that where my stomach doesn’t end up in knots.

So here are some ideas you can practice if this interests you:

1) Next time you talk to a prospect don’t think about making the sale. Think about figuring out if you are really a good fit for this person or not. Let that be your number one goal.

2) Focus on habits more than goals. Goals are great but you don’t have 100% control over them.

3) Focus on the process more than the outcome. The things you can control versus the things you can’t. Read about the “Zorro Circle” (read the book Essentialism) and think of ways you can practice this in your own life and business.

Hope this helps!