I decided to start this blog about a month ago. Since then I’ve written 20 blog posts (about 75% are around 1,000+ words) but I’ve only had the guts to publish ONE!
But it gets worse…
This blog was supposed to be a place where I could relax a little and have fun with my writing.
As a professional copywriter I get paid well to write. So most my writing is very serious, both in my approach and subject matter (I specialize in financial services and enterprise software).
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy copywriting. It may not look like I’m having fun because I don’t have a big dumb smile stretched across my face while I work but I enjoy it.
(Side note: I also love playing ice hockey but you won’t catch me smiling when I’m on the ice either).
What’s the point?
Happiness looks different for different people.
But back to this blog.
I find myself in a bit of a pickle. On one hand I just want an outlet to write freely without the pressure of producing results.
But part of me thrives on results. I believe it’s the same part that desires perfection.
And so here I am on Saturday, October 29, 2016 with 20 drafts sitting in my laptop and only one published (which, by the way, I’ve seriously considered deleting).
Some of these posts I actually think are pretty good like:
- Why It’s Better to Dream from Your Heart vs Your Mind
- 5 Reasons Why I Decided Not to Be a Nomad After Living in an RV for 3 Months
- How To Decide What To Do With Your Life When You Want To Do Everything
When I read these posts I think, Yeah, I think this is good. I bet at least one other person out there would benefit from reading this.
But that thought soon evolves into this…
Yeah, it’s good but it could be better. I really need to edit it. And what’s the purpose of this blog anyway? Do these posts support that main purpose? And do I really know who my Ideal Reader is?
However, now that I think about it my favorite thought from “the resistance” is this:
I really need to improve the design of my blog. I hate how the headlines are so big and the posts need more of a border on the mobile view. I think I’ll find a designer who can help me improve the look and feel of it and then I’ll be ready to start publishing regularly.
I feel like writing about this in an open and honest way is helping to expose the resistance I’m facing.
What about you? Are there things in your life that you’ve been hesitant to publish because of the internal resistance you face?
Maybe it’s blogging. Or starting a business or working out.
If you agree that Resistance and it’s evil cousins, Procrastination and Perfectionism, are holding you back then what are you going to do about it?
And what am I going to do?
I feel like I have an opportunity in this moment to push through that invisible barrier and do something different. I can just publish this post without sending it through the gauntlet of interrogating questions.
Or this could be Draft #21.
21 is my favorite number by the way, maybe I should just hit “save draft” vs “publish” and revisit this later. You know, “when the time is right.”
Ah, but if I do that I give in to the resistance and it wins again. And I hate losing. I may hate it just a little more then producing something that’s imperfect.
So where’s that publish button again!